Just about every time I go to Quiznos, I witness someone complaining that their sandwich is toasted. The sign says Quiznos Toasted Subs and yet they are surprised. One lady said her sandwich was burned. The definition of toast is “slightly burned bread.” If you want cold
bread go to Subway. Actually, Subway offers toasted subs now because they know that cold bread is not food. Bread does not become food until you toast it.
cheese + bread = not food
cheese + toast = grilled cheese = food
One lady asked them to make her a new sandwich that was not
toasted and they wouldn’t do it. They pointed to the sign Quiznos Toasted Subs. She complained for 10 minutes that they toasted her food without telling her. Eventually, she left in a rage with a delicious toasted sub.
Don’t hate toast.
I’m reminded of a song that I heard on my local wacky morning radio show circa 1993 about the joys of toast. I located the lyrics online. Enjoy.
All around the country and coast to coast
People always say, “what do you like most?”
I don’t want to brag, I don’t want to boast
I always tell ‘em, “I like toast.”
YEAH, TOAST!!
YEAH, TOAST!!
I get up in the morning ‘bout six A.M.
Have a little jelly, have a little jam
Take a piece of bread, put it in the slot
Push down the lever and the wires get hot,
I get toast.
YEAH, TOAST!
YEAH, TOAST!
Now, there’s no secret to toasting perfection
There’s a dial on the side and you make your selection
Push to the dark or the light and then
If it pops too soon, press down again
Make toast.
YEAH, TOAST!
YEAH, TOAST!
When the first caveman drove in from the drags
Didn’t know what would go with the bacon and the eggs
Must have met a genius, got it in his head
Plug the toaster in the wall, buy a bag of bread
Make toast.
YEAH, TOAST!
YEAH, TOAST!
Oui Monsieur, bonjour coquette,
Une croissant? Et vous auvent?
Maurice Chevalier, Eiffel Tower,
Oui Marie, baguette, bonsoir!
FRENCH TOAST!
FRENCH TOAST!
TOAST!!