Study hard kids. If you don’t, you can’t go to college. Then when George W. Bush re-institutes the Draft, you’ll be off to war. Even if you don’t end up getting drafted, you have only two ways to get out of a small town.
- Join the Military.
- Go to College.
That’s it. If you don’t do one of those two things, you’ll be that toothless guy that works at the gas station. You will never amount to anything. We need toothless guys in the world and if you are destined to be one, you should embrace it. But if you actually want to do something with your life, there are only two ways to get there.
If you’re from a small town, there is a good chance that at least one of your parents is toothless and works at the gas station. If that is the case, you probably can’t afford college.
Thank you for defending my country, you poor dummy.